According to Don Miguel Ruiz, an author of The Four Agreements, “Ninety-five percent of the beliefs we have stored in our minds are nothing but lies, and we suffer because we believe all these lies.”
How shocking is that? What are the “lies” you believe, that is not favouring your life? Some of you may not even realize those lies because you’ve believed them so long.
One of the biggest ones I had and lived accordingly for a long time was that I had “huge calves”. Not a big deal, right? Well, it wasn’t to me.
I was once trying to be a competitive horseback rider (many of my colleagues from there are Olympians, so it tells you how serious the stable was). When a beautiful leather boots arrived, I wanted to share my excitements with my coaches. So I tried to wear the new solid boots in front of them. They were so tight that there was no way that my calves were going in smoothly. Some of the coaches laughed at me so hard for me struggling, and I instantly felt the shower of embarrassment and shame. And my brain told me that I was not worthy of becoming a great rider (if I can’t wear those boots). I decided that I was useless. I decided that I do not deserve anything anymore all the sudden. I decided that I deserved the painful laughs from the coaches.
Just like that, I was under the spell. I was only 13.It was the begging of my long journey with eating disorders, weight roller coasters, and low self-esteem. I started adding more “lies”. I thought “I also have fat legs”, “I won’t have a boyfriend because of my legs.”, “He would leave me for another girl because I have fat legs, and I probably deserve it”. A very small event on an ordinary day spelled me for a long time.
Ruiz also says though “By hooking our attention, the word can enter our mind and change a whole belief for better or for worse”. And it did for me, for better. My husband, back then my new boy friend, told me that I had beautiful calves when I was jealously talking about my co-worker’s calves. He sounded so authentically with love, and convinced me that I did. I decided that I believe him and then I gradually was able to accept my calves as parts of my body rather than ugly existence. The power of word broke a heavy spell, and there I started a long journey of healing.
If you are suffering from all those “lies” you believe and wish to break the spell, contact me for an initial consultation.
I once worked exclusively with women for eating disorders, but I realized that men also had equal pressure toward their food choice, body images and self-esteem to women. According to Haleh Moravej, a senior lecturer in nutritional sciences at Manchester Metropolitan University;
“Eating disorders are not about food but emotions and control. Some people cope with everyday anxiety and disappointments and other stressful issues by restricting or overeating and binge eating.
“Low self-esteem can lead to males being dissatisfied with their bodies and feeling an overwhelming pressure to change their themselves physically.”
Full article is here.
There is no need to be feel ashamed. I have been there, and I always blamed on myself for not being “strong enough” to keep whatever the promises I made with food. I never imagined that I needed to look into my emotions. I never even thought I had an eating disorder and I was very good at hiding it. I can bet that many people around me thought my life was pretty content and I was happy.
If you need someone to talk, you know where to find me. I will listen with no judgement. We can chat over Skype or phone. Here is a first step for you to overcome the challenge you feel hopeless to change.
Email me to schedule a free initial consultation.
I just joined “Dove Movement” (www.dovemovement.com) through a blog of super woman @YukariP. For me, I had suffered from low self-esteem from about 16 to 25 years old, especially with my body images. I had believed I was too fat and then I was too thin. I have experienced severe eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia during that time.
This is one of the reasons why I am so passionate about my trainings and counselings – to make sure my clients know that they are truly beautiful. I wish I had a mentor who could have told me that it was okay to have been me when I was 13.
I hope YOU decide to join the movement and help girls to have great confidence in their bright future!